TRUE BLOOD: IN THE BEGINNING REVIEW

By Sean Smyth

Lies, Deceit, and Drunken Vamps! 

I didn't start watching True Blood till maybe Season 4, but I managed to check out Seasons 1-3 in just two weeks. It was a good time. Sitting in class waiting to take the train home and watch a few more episodes, before I had doing the same thing the next day. Those were the days. 

Now, watching the show is like a chore. Straining to understand what is going on, who hates who, who wants what? It's just getting to be a little out of the control. The past Season's arcs came together and all the stories pretty much interwove for the most part, but this Season people are just bouncing all over the place and their is so little time to get invested in something before another thing comes along. It's like, they've run out of things to do on the show for certain characters so they just give them crappy side stories because True Blood doesn't like to kill of it's main characters.

I swear if you take one individual character's story, lets say... Sookie for right now, her entire arc of scenes and story could be done in maybe two or three episodes. Instead she gets an entire season to wallow around and just cry about being different. 

I mean, each character (especially Sookie) have faced a life threatening moment in the show at least once, but they've all overcome those moments because someone else saves their ass, or instead the baddie trying to kill them has a change of heart or just doesn't feel like doing it at the moment, even if that character's story has run its course Season's ago. 

Well, In the Beginning has plenty of those moments and is made up mostly of those crappy side stories that you just don't care about and it feels a lot like a supernatural melodramatic Soap Opera. But even Soap Operas kill off their characters now and again. 

Some of those moments include; Andy visiting the old Sheriff Dearborne to ask if he sucks at being a cop, Arlene watching her Wedding Video with Holly while at work (they wouldn't be getting a tip from me with that kind of service), and Terry and Patrick gallivanting in a field and being mocked by the Fire Demon.... I don't know about you, but shouldn't these scenes be used more efficiently to produce greater understanding of what is going on in this already confusing show? 

Oh yeah, and this scene was pretty useless too. 

Besides Bill and Eric's excellent adventure with The Authority, or at least what's left of the Authority since the Guardian was betrayed by Salome (like I said, but the way they went about how she did it was anything but smooth. She basically just says, yeah I followed you when you were burying Russell, saved him and now I want to praise Lilith.), the rest of the episode is just there.

That's another thing this show has become known for doing. Over explaining. It feels as though we only learn one or two new plot points each episode because we are forced to sit through things that we learned in episode one because, and this is just my guess, the writers of the show think we are stupid. Hey Alan Ball take a page out of Justified or Breaking Bad and stop telling us what's happening. Just show us. I mean that's screenwriting 101. I learned that my first day in school. Lazy... 

But I digress, as usual...

Bill and Eric discover the plot to overthrow the Authority is centuries in the making,  Nora and Salome are a couple Vampire Bible thumpers and Russell is just being Russell. Ripping off heads and making a mess. 

This thing on? Is anyone listening to me? 

You see this episode is supposed to mark a change. A reversal if you will for the remainder of the season. Though I felt like things were just getting good with the Authority. Like we should have had the rest of the season with them being the big bad. Instead Russell comes in stakes the Guardian and things just fall apart. Russell apparently finds religion and doesn't want to hurt his nemeses he vowed to destroy and everyone in the council gets drunk of old Vamp blood and wanders around what looks to be New Orleans. 

Man does that leave a bad taste in my mouth. It is just boring. Even the climatic scene feels as though it falls short of being interesting, and has one of the worst special effects I've ever scene on True Blood (It literally made me laugh out loud). Hopefully the much talked about Human/Vamp War that keeps being discussed comes about and we can get out of this whole Soap Opera vibe and hit the more Epic tone as the show should be. At least Eric sees things are getting a little weird...

Besides Bill and Eric staggering around with the Authority and what I mentioned as pointless scenes before, we have the following:

Sookie learns she can be Fairy no more, Jason hates Vamps again, Jessica is feeding up on humans, Hoyt joins up with the Supe Murders, Tara makes a good stripper but her mom hates her so Tara looks at Pam as a new mother figure, Sam argues with Luna and smells stuff while looking for the people who shot him, and Lafayette goes to see Jesus' uncle who is not to pleased with him.

Overall the episode kind of falls flat on it's face. After having so much promise from it's previous episodes, and so much build up, things just bounce off the ground instead of landing. I don't know, maybe I'm not the target audience anymore. Maybe that audience has grown to be middle aged housewives or something... But this episode did nothing for me and thus only gets a 2.5 out of 5. 

Do you agree with that? Is True Blood falling apart or is it the best it's ever been? You tell me in the comments below. And as always, Thanks For Reading.  

TRUE BLOOD: HOPELESS REVIEW

By Sean Smyth

IT'S A TWIST!!!

As usual, True Blood picks up right where we last left our favorite and not so favorite characters. 

Sookie, Bill, Eric, and Alcide are fighting for their lives against Russell and his Wolves after Alcide is jumped from behind. Jessica and Tara have a bit of a spat that puts their friendship on hold. Jason is hell bent on finding the Vamp that killed his parents, Patrick is convinced that Terry isn't crazy somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Lafayette sees his mom, Hoyt tries to kill himself via being drained, and SPOILER, Sam and Luna survive their gun shot wounds and start the hunt for their attempted murders.

Business is as usual in Bon Temp. Shooting, killing, sex, drugs, and all that good fun stuff we all have come accustomed to when True Blood is mentioned however it is way more spread out as they keep adding more and more characters to an already overpopulated show.  Refusing to kill anyone of any significance (sort of). 

I want to say I love True Blood, I really do. It's got all of the things I like, Fantasy, multiple story arches that intersect, and supernatural creatures, but now its just getting a little out of hand. I mean, how big of a game changer would it have been if Sam or Luna died? It would have been great. But true to business as usual, they survive by the skin of their teeth. 

But enough of me groaning. As I said, things get started off in each story with kind of a bang. In Sookie's life, we have Russell in her face wanting a snack but that plan is halted rather quickly by light hands, Eric and a band of Authority soldiers with some serious rifles laser sights. True Blood really love those laser sited guns. Sookie is then pretty much told to stay out of the night life and be normal and that makes her all sad and stuff. (As you can tell I really don't know what to do with her.) She had some use last episode but then she goes right back to being damsel in distress. 

"You got a purdy mouth."

It's like that's all the writers use her for. Her thick head gets her into a jam and someone comes along and saves her. Also, her character is bouncing around so much from story to story, it's hard to even care or understand her. One minuet she's dealing with Debbie, then Tara, then a coverup, then Vampire Tara, then Alcide and Bill and Eric, and then Russell and then a full one Eighty to Fairies, just to round it out.  I mean, pick a story line and stay with it. Good god. 

Oh yeah, Sookie goes to that club Jason was at a few episodes back full of Fairies in the alternate dimension. Not much happens. So I'll spare you the details. Just know she got herself into a bind again. 

The biggest story line this episode, at least the most interesting anyway, is Sam's. After being shot, all he wants to do is find out who did it and offers his help to Andy to track down the Supes shooters, to which Andy reluctantly agrees and they team up using Sam's super human shifter powers. 

Sam's vigilantism is a great turn for the character after spending the first few episodes dealing with fall out from last season's finale. So it is nice to see him actually doing something, instead of taking it all the time. Their's no question Sam is my favorite character and has the coolest ability, to shift into any animal you can think of. So I can't wait to see what else they do with him and how many stories his will overlap with. 

Other than that, this episode is still just more set up, or if you look at it from the glass half empty perspective, it is a wash. Tara sits out most of the episode, Hoyt tries to get Jessica back and fails, and Lafayette learns Jesus is in trouble and "loves fags." His mom's words not mine. 

"EWWW... I got the goooo on me."

The only redeeming quality as usual is the ending (the twist I refer to), which may or may not be taken back right away, because that's just what True Blood loves to do. However, the preview for the next episode suggests that this ending actually took this time. So bust out the party hats and streamers and celebrate.

I won't give it away, but the finale sequence of the episode involves Russell's execution and the Guardian, giving a speech about how order trumps chaos. FYI "Order is for Pussies."

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH IS FULL OF SPOILERS SO CEASE READING UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE EPISODE:

So, last episode we learned that a woman helped Russell escape the cement, and she wore a crest around her neck. Nora and Salome, the Greek chick on the console, wears that same pendant and I can only speculate, that well, I know, it is Salome pulling the stings. She has everyone wrapped so tight around her finger no one really sees it coming, and she seems so interested in keeping Russell alive and making sure things go the way she wants. It has to be her, because that would be the twist I would use. However, it's not a very good twist if I was able to spot it as far back as Episode 3.

"She's been playing us from the start. I'm almost sure of it."

I must say Valentina Cervi, who plays Salome, has done some great character work and has now officially become my third favorite on the show. My second being Russell and my first I mentioned before. Sam. She has so many little moments that hint to her ulterior motives and that she herself might twist everything around and turn out to be the great Lilith, that it just makes my head spin.  

Oh and what's up with no one helping the Guardian as Russell lays a stake into his chest. Is everyone against him? Or are they all just a bunch of cowards? I mean, there was at least eight people standing around that could have helped but they chose to watch. 

It is because of that sequence that I can't wait to see what happens in the following episode, and if I'm right, expect a told you so at the top of my next review. BOO YA!  This episode gets a 4 out of 5. Sure there was only three stories worth any real mention but that were entertaining enough that it will make you coming back for more. 

So there you have it. What do you think? Do you agree? Or am I an idiot. Let's hearr your insults and comments hurled at me through our comment section. As always thanks for reading.